Good, Goodest, Goodell

Now granted that I am usually up on all of the latest, but this could be my best scoop! I hear a rumor that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell had some very interesting comments when asked some questions concerning the spiraling attendance at some of the NFL games on November 26.
You probably will not see is anyplace else!!

Q: Commissioner, views of the stands in New Jersey at the Jets game against the Carolina Panthers taken just before kickoff show a significant number of empty seats. Do you have a comment?
A: I heard that there was a traffic jam before the game which delayed a a lot of fans from getting there on time!

Q: Commissioner, likewise views of the stands minutes before kickoff in Cincinnati in the game against the Cleveland Browns show a pretty significant number of empty seats. Any comment?
A: I heard that there was an even bigger unexpected traffic jam just outside the stadium in Cincinnati that day! This was possibly because of an unconfirmed report that some stop lights in Cincinnati were not functioning!

Q: Commissioner, pictures of the stands in Atlanta similarly showed a large number of empty seats. Any reason for this?
A: It is my understanding that there was a snafu at the various parking entrance gates that caused many fans to miss the kickoff!

Q: Commissioner, on the Internet, transmitted live, views of the stands ten minutes before kickoff in Indianapolis demonstrated a huge number of empty seats. Why was that?
A: Although unreported because of security concerns, there was a significant electrical grid problem, which spared the Internet. This caused chaos throughout Indiana. Obviously without power the fans had a lot of difficulty getting to the stadium on time, and a lot unfortunately just could not make it at all!

Q: Commissioner, the T.V ratings for the NFL games are down significantly this year. Is there any reason for this?
A: With global warming many T.V. viewers are now spending more time outside enjoying the warm fall days.

Q: Are you telling us that one million previous NFL viewers were outside enjoying the weather? Are you aware that these are stats for week 11 of this year as compared to last year?
A: Well of course not all of these one million viewers were outside enjoying the weather! Some of them were trapped in there house because their garage doors would not open because of the unreported power grid problem. Also note that because of this unreported power grid problem, a lot of avid NFL fans were not able to watch the games because their homes had no power and hence no working televisions.

Q: So let me get this straight, Commissioner. You do not think that these relatively empty NFL stadiums, and this dramatic decline in television viewership has anything to do with the NFL players kneeling for the National Anthem?
A: Of course, perhaps one or two previous fans, have chosen to boycott our product, but this boycotting B.S. is being vastly over-rated. Like I said before there are logical reasons to explain these apparent decreases.
However, please do not publicize this unreported power grid problem as it will only embolden our country’s enemies.
Thank you.

WOW!! Is this a scoop, or what?

46 Replies to “Good, Goodest, Goodell”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.