Last month a mother of a student at a local elementary school notified the principal of the school about a situation that had alarmed her. She told the principal that a man had stared at her daughter while in Starbucks and and then had followed her. Of course at this point the principal, a woman, had to make some assumptions and then had to decide what to do about the situation.
It seems reasonable for the principal to assume that both the mother and the daughter were concerned about the situation or else it would have not been brought to her attention. Is it possible that both the daughter and her mother exaggerated the entire incident way out of proportion? Yes, certainly that is possible, and a reasonable person has to assume that if either this mother or her daughter had a past history of blatant exaggeration or a history of fabrication that the principal would have been justified in discounting the story. However since the story did not end there, one can assume that this was not the case.
So at this point, the principal had a choice to make. In my view there were only three possible options for her.
Option 1: She could do nothing. The likelihood that this incident could be a precursor to a tragic encounter for this same student or for another female student is small, but not zero. Yes, small, but real, and if the principal had remained silent, and something did occur in the near future, then all hell would break loose. Certainly, I would not want to be in the principal’s shoes, either legally or morally. If someone passes on a reasonable concern to someone in authority, I feel that it is the responsibility of that person in authority to act. To me, doing nothing is not a reasonable option.
Option 2: Communicate the facts in this situation to the parents of the other children at the school. There are many ways that this potential concern could be communicated, but in this day and age, e-mail would seem to be the easiest and most logical way to notify the other parents, so that they in turn could discuss add reenforce with their children how to react in certain situations.(“Don’t talk to strangers. Always walk home with a friend. etc.”) If my daughter or my granddaughter were attending this elementary school, this is the option that I would hope that the principal would take.
Option 3: Notify the police. This is always an option although to the best of my knowledge, staring at someone is not a crime . . . yet! Perhaps the principal or the mother involved did notify the police, but we do not know if either occurred.
Now let’s assume that the principal did choose ‘Option 2’. How detailed should her description of the possible “starer and follower” be. Should it be as detailed a description as the daughter gave the mother, or should it be purposely vague? For example should the description be “a male wearing a hooded sweatshirt,” or should it be a detailed description like is seen in the newspapers every day? A vague description might be helpful to the parents as a lead in to a general discussion of things the children should be aware of, but does nothing to actually alert anybody about a potential real danger.
Of course, when the principal gave a detailed description of the “starer and follower (“an African-American male, about 6’1” – 6’2,” about 30 years old, dressed in all black with a hooded sweatshirt”), she was chastised by the NAACP and a black community leader. I found this particularly interesting as I read the description of a bank robber in the local newspaper today. He was described as “being a black man in his twenties about six feet tall and wearing sweats.” To me these two descriptions sound amazingly similar.
- I am waiting for a complaint from the NAACP about this newspaper description, but I have been advised not to hold my breath!
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